The waiters' seminar, Hajdari explains the Renaissance jerk to Veli

2024-01-06 12:42:00, Satire Politike CNA
The waiters' seminar, Hajdari explains the Renaissance jerk to Veli
Illustrative photo

The characters are: Hajdari, head waiter at the resort of Zamos and patron of Rilindza, Tajari - head of works in the Çeti District within the Artificial Lake of Tirana and, lastly, Veliu, former seasonal waiter, unemployed, member of the National Council of PD- of.

They are participants in the seminar on the topic: "Strategic investments, the right path for the development of Albania"!
In the breaks between sessions, our characters gather at a table and the conversation begins.
Veliu is the first to speak:

"What kind of development are you talking about? Please tell me what Albania gains from the resort of Zamos for example. Because I'm not getting a headache..."

Hajdari intervenes with full competence:

"You of the DP will never catch the rhythm of the times. You remember that development is when money or goods are added to your families (Veliu approves with gestures: "Yes, yes"!). Oh poor you. Yes, our resort is organizing the entire coast, it is turning a wasteland where even goats did not graze into a Mediterranean pearl where the blue is refracted into a thousand colors, where the sunset amazes even the greatest European photographers; where the evening pours all the cream of Albania on the promenade of Palasa, politicians, businessmen, moderators, misses, photographers... I'm sorry it's over...

Late dinners where Dom Perinho flows like a river and then long nights where fantasy, lust and exhibition reach human limits! You enjoy being a servant in that royal palace. A paradise where all social or political barriers are broken, where the concept of gender and age is lost, where only one principle reigns: "Today is the last night, the dog will eat the onion"! This is a moment of collective delirium that could not be imagined at the time of Sali rrumpalla. This is not a simple ruse, from his, this is an erotic ruse, a ruse organized with cocktails and ecstasy, with seduction and betrayal, a symbol of the development that only free initiative, capitalism, brought about.

To go to such limits, you must have a creative imagination for elite tourism, you must create conditions for the rich. They have the money, they pour the river, development comes from them. We as revivalists must create the conditions. Let's build infrastructure, roads, airports, give construction permits, this is the vision..."

Veliu intervenes once again, already confused:

"Good morning Hajdar, well, I admit that it's beautiful there in Zamo, I'm dying to come there too. But what do you get from the money that Zamo gets? What do you, your family, mine of this other person earn..."
Hajdari: "Ah, brother Veli, who knows development like money that comes to your door... Mor debil, but where does the consumption that takes place in us come from? Yes, from the villagers of the area o trap, they take the fruits, vegetables, meat and fish. This is development. Then employment, guards, waiters, cooks, butlers, masseurs. And at the end of the day, there are Veliii taxes... We bring millions of euros to the state every year..."

Tajari, the "strategic investor" of the Artificial Lake, intervenes:

"Hey, my dear, Hajdar, what explanation did you give, you left me speechless... They drowned us, I'm a Mulosman, a tropoje, who says this miracle that Lala is doing at the Artificial Lake is a massacre... better trees and greenery than buildings. Only 9 towers have been built there, the nonna of the church... This is the name of this scumbag... The incompetents killed us. I saw the video clip of Reconciliation, you took our neighborhood with a drone... You were so happy to see it! We also have a lot of Bangladeshi and Pakistani workers. They are not removed, every day from 10 hours of work. Kind people, hardworking and silent. I paid 300 dollars to my mother. These cookies of mine did not please them, they seemed small. Let them go to London while we have the Bangladeshis..."
Veliu does not give up:

"Hey Hajdar. Well, what you said to me, these people of dates and cucumbers are having a good time. What about the rest of us, how does our well-being increase?"

Hajdari: "Ah more Veli shkreta... That's why you never get power. Yes, the taxes go to the government and are distributed to public goods for you as well"...

Veli interrupts:

"In other words, the government takes taxes from Zamo, Çeti, Zoto, Mërtir, Fane, Xhaçka and then builds roads and tunnels that lead to their resorts? You get 5 Lek in tax and you take 10 Lek in investment?! Build airports for them? Give them luxury tenders for their stadiums and concessions and you mention their taxes?

Where is the development for my family Hajdaaaarrrrr?!!! I am unemployed, O Hajdarrrr, when you say development, you mean how money comes to my house. When I was at work, did I get any tips, but now? When the beaches were free, I used to bathe in Palasa and Dhermi. Now Zamos ei Xhaçka's porter comes out and tells me that my place is far from there... Even when they let you in, they put 30,000 for the deckchair and 20,000 Lek for the pasta Hajdarrrrr, so that you don't even think of going anywhere near it out of fear. We used to enjoy those miracles ourselves, dive into the fiery sunset and light fires in Palasa, Dhërmi, Borsh and Jale... (eyes fill with tears). Now we see those places from afar, with binoculars. My soul cries, Dariiiii"

Hajdari laughs loudly... A murderous, taunting laugh...

"These are the democrats, nostalgic of communism. You have time left there. You take bread and stuff your heart with cheese and onion for lunch and swim on the shore for 10 hours. You and development are far away brother. I'm sorry but I have to tell the truth. If it were up to you, Television would still show documentaries about Azem Beyte in prime time. We've come a long way bro. Our big is catching European records. Yesterday Topi had made a super production for Elton Ilirjani, the world star of genderless modeling!!!! Do you understand genderless modeling or not? (Velius becomes complacent)...

We are in 2100, brother, you mention the beaches with bonfires and damote! We are at golf courses, aerodromes within the resort, ultramodern tunnels, stadiums...

The normal money that we will keep with each other, why don't we go crazy and give it to you, Veli?! Alabar's profit is 600 million, Çeti is 300 million a year, Zamiri 500 million, Mërtiri 200, Fusha 250, Tigri 150, Bela 200, Lali 200, Xhaçka 100. Do you know how much these alone increase the gross national product?! It costs 2.5 billion Euro Veliiiii! Or on average about 1000 Euros for each resident per year! You are there too, Veli, your father, mother, children. Only you as a family have earned 7000 Euros on average from this increase....
Veliu lowers his head and stammers: "Okay, okay, we're good on average. But already this year, I received a loan of 8000 Euro to cover my living expenses"...

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