A letter of sorrow to my friend, Avdyl Matoshi

2024-01-07 08:45:00, Opinione Bislim Ahmetaj

A letter I write every January 6 here for 26 years

Dear Avdyl!

The first days of January are the emptiest, emptiest, most useless days of the year for all mankind anywhere on the planet.

Even January as a whole is a month that doesn't leave much of a mark on most people's lives.

While for me, for your relatives, your mother, daughter, sisters, brothers, for your company, the beginning of the month of January here for 26 years is empty, empty, bitter, sad, cursed, black, black barren.

Because you are missing, you are not among us, and not because you wanted to.

You loved life more than any of us, and you knew how to love life like no one else among us.

So honestly, with work, with sweat, with dedication, with boundless love for family, for friends, for everything good.

But hundreds of Kalashnikov bullets, dozens of grenades and bombs took your life.

The car in which you were killed on January 6, 1998 together with Gjin Kolbucaj and Naim Dizdar resembled Adem Jashari's tower in Prekaz that was machine gunned as only the barbarians know.

This is reason enough that the beginning of January for me here for 26 years is a terrible experience, a cry of hatred for that black barren time, but also for those people who produced that time, from ordinary murderers to orderlies and their political inspirers.

Those who took your physical life were ravens and most of them have become carrion, but the screeching of those who live is deafening our ears.

Those who inspired and applauded your death have turned into ravens that bark like dogs and you find them all over our decaying Motherland.

The homeland has shrunk from people, every day they flee from it as from the night of the grave.

With this approach, after several anniversaries, there is no Albanian leg left for this troll except for the Diplomatic Corps, some non-(pro)governmental organizations, rogue statesmen and their lickers.

In the other anniversaries, talking with you, I have shown you that no trial has been held to clarify the circumstances of your murder, Gjini and Naim, and as a result no one has been punished for the massacre that at that time was called the Cernica massacre.

Now I don't even think that such a thing will ever happen, even though everyone is on foot to win at any cost and at any cost a race called reform in justice, which nowadays seems not to be but a revenge for justice.

This campaign for justice reform is reminding me of the dictatorship's campaign to eradicate God and religion from the minds of Albanians in the distant year when we were born.

Even though more than half a century has passed since that time, the mentality of Albanian political leaders has moved as far as a turtle can on its journey around the world.

When the turtle arrives at the first starting point, I hope that we too will have returned to God's path and there will be justice not only for your murder.

But I'm also afraid of this, I'm afraid that these ravens that bark like dogs will ambush somewhere in some steppe or desert the turtle in which we have placed our hope and they will kill him, just like they killed you, as only barbarians know how to kill.

Shouldn't we leave these complicated conversations, they are big jobs, you, me and some of our friends thought we could do these big jobs.

But no, from time to time I despair and say that we have lost our minds even though we have not stopped working day and night so that we can do something better than it is.

And I give you my word of honor that we will not stop working and acting in this direction for a single day because it seems to me that we are doing something for you, Azemi, Arben, Bujar, Gjin, Naim and dozens of others who are no longer in this world only because they wanted a better Homeland, a Homeland that did not drive away its children, a Homeland that did not eat its children.

A little while ago I spoke on the phone with your mother, Zylfien, she was in Germany, where your sisters, your brothers and almost the majority of Albanians are.

We hardly stopped the tears, I don't even know if I can stop them or not?

He was in good health, although he will have talked to you for a long time yesterday, today the whole time...

Rummaging through my drawers, I found this photo of us at Guva e Qetë just a few days before you had the opportunity to take a photo with me, with us, could you send it through Facebook? . Oh, forgive me, I forgot, you don't know what this glass of communication is, if you can see it, your Nana, your daughters, sisters, brothers and many friends who remember you with more care and love.

You were and remained a rare friend, only in January, I repeat, I love you not at all, not at all, especially in

January 5, 6, 7, because you left, they left me with a void that no one is filling after your departure.

While 26 years have passed since that dark day when you were taken away, you have remained a light, an inspiration and an unforgettable friend to all who knew you even for a single day.

Blessed, bright and glorious will be your memory forever.