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Life fatigue: A growing phenomenon in Western society

2023-05-13 16:18:00, Blog CNA

Life fatigue: A growing phenomenon in Western society

Molly was 88 years old and in relatively good health. She had escorted her 2 husbands, her brothers and sisters, most of her friends and her only son to her last apartment.

"I have no meaningful social relationships left. Everyone is dead. And you know what? I also want to leave this world" - he told me. Coming a little closer, as if he were telling me a secret, he continued: Do you want me to tell you what I am? I am strong. I can admit to myself and to you that I have nothing left here. I am more
than ready to leave when my time comes. In fact, it can't come
soon enough."

I have interviewed many elderly people for my research. From time to time, I am amazed at the sincerity with which some people think their lives are over. They look like they are tired of being alive. I am a member of the European Research Network for Understanding Fatigue in Older People, which includes a group of doctors, psychiatrists, sociologists, psychologists and death researchers.

We want to better understand the phenomenon, and pick out what is unique. Health care ethics professor Els Van Vijngarden and colleagues in the Netherlands interviewed a group of elderly people who were not seriously ill but who felt a burning desire to end their lives.

The main problems they identified in these people were: painful loneliness, the pain associated with the lack of importance, the struggle with self-expression, the weariness of life, and the fear of being reduced to a state completely dependent on others. This does not have to be the result of a lifetime of suffering, or a response to intolerable physical pain.

Tiredness from life seems to arise even in people who think they have had a fulfilled life. A 92-year-old man told network researchers:

"At this age you have no effect on anything. The ship sails and everyone has a job, but they sail alone. I am a burden to them. And this situation is not easy for me. Humiliation is a very harsh word, but this state is close to it. I feel ignored, completely left out."

Another man said: Look at the condition of those old women who live in the opposite building. Crooked and half-dead, moving for no reason in wheelchairs… Their lives are no longer about being human. It's a phase of life I just don't want to experience!"

The American novelist Philip Roth wrote that "old age is not a battle, old age is a
massacre".

If we live long enough, we can lose our identity, physical abilities, partner, friends and career. For some people, this causes a deep-rooted feeling that life is stripped of any meaning, and that the tools we need to rebuild a sense of purpose have been irretrievably lost.

Profesorja e kujdesit shëndetësor, Helena Larson, dhe kolegët e saj në Suedi kanë shkruar për një “fikje graduale të dritave” në moshën e pleqërisë. Ata argumentojnë se njerëzit heqin gradualisht dorë nga jeta aktive, derisa arrijnë një pikë ku janë gati të shkëputin lidhjet me botën e jashtme.

Ekipi i Larson ngre pyetjen nëse kjo mund të jetë e pashmangshme për të gjithë ne. Sigurisht, kjo lloj vuajtjeje ndan disa karakteristika të përbashkëta (është dëshpëruese dhe e dhimbshme) me ankthin që hasim në momente të tjera të jetës. Por nuk është e njëjta gjë. Për shembull, kujtoni vuajtjet ekzistenciale që mund të lindin nga një sëmundje vdekje- prurëse ose nga një divorc. Në këta shembuj, një pjesë e vuajtjes lidhet me faktin se ka më shumë udhëtime të jetës që duhen kryer, por që pjesa tjetër e udhëtimit ndihet si e pasigurt
dhe nuk duket më ashtu siç e kemi imagjinuar.

Kjo lloj vuajtjeje lidhet shpesh me vajtimin për një të ardhme, që ne mendojmë se duhet ta kishim, apo me frikën e një të ardhmeje për të cilën jemi të pasigurt. Një nga dallimet që vërehen tek lodhja nga jeta, është se nuk ka dëshirë apo pesimizëm për një të ardhme; por vetëm një ndjenjë e thellë se udhëtimi ka mbaruar, dhe që ende zvarritet në mënyrë të dhimbshme dhe për një kohë të pacaktuar.

Në vendet ku eutanazia dhe vetëvrasja e asistuar janë të ligjshme, mjekët dhe studiuesit po debatojnë nëse lodhja nga jeta, përmbush pragun për atë lloj vuajtjeje emocionale të pandërprerë që u jep njerëzve të drejtën për eutanazi. Fakti që ky problem është shumë i zakonshëm, mund të sugjerojë se jeta moderne i ka izoluar të moshuarit nga shoqëria perëndimore.

Perhaps elders are no longer revered for their wisdom and experience. But this is not inevitable. In Japan, age is seen as a spring or rebirth, after a busy period of work and raising children. One study found that older adults in Japan showed higher scores on personal growth compared to middle-aged adults.

An opposite pattern was observed in the USA. Surgeon and professor of medicine Atul Gauande argues that in Western societies, medicine has created the ideal conditions for transforming aging into a "long, slow ordeal".

He believes that quality of life has been overlooked as we channel our resources toward biological survival. This is something unprecedented in history. Fatigue from life can be evidence of this cost./ Adapted from CNA.al





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