Violence starts in the nursery...

2024-11-19 22:45:00, Opinione Lutfi Dervishi

Journalist Lutfi Dervishi

When a mother sends her child to kindergarten, the hope is that he will find a safe, supportive and nurturing environment. But for many parents, this moment marks the beginning of a difficult journey, filled with disappointment and shock.

Imagine that the child is "surrounded" by violence in the kindergarten.

This is the case of a mother who faced not only the violence of her four-year-old son's group mates, but also of educators who should be role models.

The little boy had been attending daycare since he was one year old without any problems. In a curious child, full of joy, who couldn't wait to learn in kindergarten, but..

"He became aggressive. He started to shoot, push, scream. When he came home, he would explode. I had never seen him like that before,” says his mother.

His words were alarming. The boy was yelling, and I told him: "Mom, if he yells, tell him to speak to you in a soft voice, because we shouldn't yell at children, but talk to them calmly and gently."

"When you tried to talk to the educators, they didn't even look you in the eye and gave answers like: well, there are also some problematic (children) there.

- What about you, because yours is very good!

In every attempt to discuss the situation with the educators, the mother faced a wall of indifference and arrogance. "Some kids are different," was the standard response. In fact, during a meeting with parents, the educator said: "Don't lower our authority in front of the children." And most of the parents were right: "Shout, because these kids love it!"

This approach not only legitimizes verbal and psychological violence against children, but also creates a vicious circle, where parents, educators and children make violence a normal part of communication.

And the most beautiful.

The kindergarten where the boy was enrolled was considered one of the best in the area. But the daily experiences were shocking. The children terrified each other and the teachers scared them with threats such as: "If you don't sleep, your moms will leave you here!"

Meanwhile, children were promised activities that never materialized. "Mom, they lie to us every day. They say we will play, but we never play," complained the boy.

These repeated lies and the violent environment began to affect the child. He began to cry in his sleep at night and asked not to return to that garden.

After three weeks filled with tears and frustration, the mother made a decision. "I told the boy that he will not go to that garden again, and he said: 'Please don't take me there again!'"

In the new kindergarten, the boy began to come back to himself.

"Thank God, there are still good teachers," says the mother gratefully. "Now he can't wait to go to his friends and learn with teacher Anila."

But this temporary change does not solve the bigger problem: the toxic environment that surrounds children.

"I saved him with the kindergarten, but what about the school? What about the society that will surround him tomorrow?"

The question is painful and direct: Why do unprepared and unmotivated people choose the profession of education? How can we accept that institutions that should be the safest places for our children, turn into sources of violence and fear?

It is not enough to have the best name kindergartens and schools. Neither words nor beautiful buildings are enough. We must guarantee an environment where children can remain children and enjoy their childhood.

A violent society does not start in Parliament or on the streets. It starts in kindergartens and schools. And a society without violence starts from the protection and education of children.